Second time around

4 Months Old

2011-01-31T17:48:00.000-08:00

Ella is now 4 months old! She weights 12.8 lbs, hates being on her stomach, adores her dad, laughs and smiles regularly and farts and blames it on the dog. I have no idea where that last bit came from.

Why IS She So Cute?!

2011-01-23T10:46:00.000-08:00

Ella attempts to answer the difficult question, why IS she so cute?

Like her mother, however, she is distracted by cameras and other shiny things...

Making Ella Laugh

2011-01-23T10:30:00.000-08:00

Can I please just tell you how I ADORE her laugh?!

Baby in The Mirror!

2011-01-23T10:12:00.000-08:00

Ella discovers the adorable baby in the mirror. Spoiler alert: Um, it's her.

Time flies

2011-01-12T05:41:00.000-08:00

Three months! Three months, can you even believe it?! I can't!

Where's Daddy

2011-01-05T08:41:00.001-08:00

We recorded this just after Ella started to laugh. She was about 10 weeks here.

Ella's First Christmas

2010-12-28T01:16:00.001-08:00

Little Drummer Girl

2010-12-06T05:33:00.001-08:00

Our daughter, destined to be...

A drummer (we believe!):

2 Months Old

2010-11-28T17:48:00.001-08:00

Our Miss Ella is 2 months old! Hard to believe? Yes. Heartbreaking? Yes. Are we loving every minute of it?

Absolutely!

Thank you to Aunt Katie for taking my pictures and to Daddy for designing my onesie!

Our first family photos!

2010-11-20T16:04:00.000-08:00

Here are some of the photos taken at our first official family photo session. They were taken at Shutterlove Studios in Perrysburg, OH. They are amazing and we are please with how they turned out.

Making faces

2010-11-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

Six weeks as of yesterday. We're tired, we smell like formula vomit, our clothes are stained, there's toys everywhere.

We love it. LOVE it! We're having, really, the best time with Ella. M already wants another one. I, of course, reminded him of the pregnancy. I think that'll keep him at bay for a bit.

G is great with her. He watches us change her diaper. I wondered if it was a curiosity thing, you know, with girly parts and all that. So I asked him "do you have any questions about babies?" He said "No. I'm just watching in case you fall asleep and she needs her diaper changed. Then I can change it!" Bless his little heart!

M fell asleep on the couch about 10pm. Normally, I'd be fine with this. Last night, I just thought "Why the hell are you sleeping? I'm the one that gets up with Ella all hours of the night." It made me realize I haven't had a full night's sleep in 6 weeks. Oy! Men... they just can't hack it like we can. Wimps!

She's starting to be awake more often. This brings on new challenges, like trying to find ways to entertain her. She's starting to respond more, and laugh more, so I started taking pictures. This only made me realize I need a way better camera!

Chillin' in her chair. Love how she has her hands in what looks like her pants while she sleeps!

G LOVES his little sister... she's pretty keen on him, too!

The pictures that follow this one are within a 5 minute span of her thinking I'm hilarious! Smart kid...

Random photos

2010-11-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

I LOVE these bugs!

2010-11-02T08:50:00.000-07:00

It was purely coincidental that both Matt's niece and Ella dressed as ladybugs for Halloween. I think it worked out well.

Ella's first Halloween

Yep. More pictures...

2010-10-26T06:45:00.001-07:00

Ewww. Gross. I'm hideous. She's pretty cute, though!

Awww! Big brother G and his lil' sis!

My Daddy with his first granddaughter!

She loves staring at her Pooh

2010-10-26T06:37:00.000-07:00

Not that poo.... this Pooh

She loves, loves staring at this little guy. To be honest, I have no idea where he came from. We have a Tigger from my mom and an Eeyore (not sure where he came from either) but she really likes Winnie the Pooh! I discovered this one day when she seemed inconsolable so I put him in there to prop her binky so it wouldn't keep falling out (don't judge me!). Next thing I know, she's quiet as a mouse and staring at this fella. To be honest, he's not the best looking Pooh - he's kind of scary with the raised eyebrows and all - but she loves him. When she went through a 3 day phase of just crying and wanting to be held, I found Pooh cartoons on the YouTube app on my iPod. She loved it!

I have to say... at this point, I'm a little relieved. I wasn't ready for the barrage of Disney princess crap. At least not yet!

I enjoy sleeping babies

2010-10-25T13:04:00.000-07:00

Ella survived her first cold at 3 weeks. I however, after repeated sneezes in the face from the aforementioned child, had a cold that quickly turned into bronchitis. Daddy M had his first mostly-alone-with-a-child day on Sunday. I slept-mostly-and snuck little cuddles and a feeding. C'mon! She's so cute... how could I not cheat a little?

She still sleeps a ton, and I'm always taking pictures, but she is now getting better at holding her head up and staying awake and alert for small periods of time here and there.

Just a quick note: She will be 1 month old this Thursday - how is that even possible?

Am I still pregnant?

2010-10-13T06:19:00.001-07:00

I'm done. I'm not pregnant anymore. It's been 2 weeks yesterday.

Why, oh why then, am I feeling pregnant?

Yes, I get that I'll still be plump and and squishy. But I'm still constipated, still swollen, and still have numbness in my fingers.

I'm not sure why I'm sharing that information. Mostly because of all my postpartum symptoms, the numbness annoys me most of all. I'm dropping things constantly.

The great news is that I'm not experiencing the depression I did with G. Exhaustion is still there, but I guess that's part of the fun of being a new parent.

I made the mistake of asking Matt, considering everything that happened with the pregnancy and delivery, if he'd do it again. He would. I won't. I don't think. I suppose if I could continue to stay home and he could make more money, I would make more babies. I still haven't found a job since being fired in July and unemployment doesn't exactly pay the bills like sales did, but we're getting by and I'm whoring my resume like a madwoman.

If we had the money, however, I would be a stay at home mom in a heartbeat! I never thought I would have the patience, but before Ella was born, it gave me time to get everything for her ready. Now, I have time to clean and organize. Not necessarily cook because I don't enjoy it in our tiny kitchen, but I've been known to fix a plate here and there.

It's gonna suck going back to work after so much time off and leaving her. I am anxious to make money, especially with Christmas fast approaching, but I will try to enjoy the time while I can. And seriously, the kids just make it so easy!

First pictures of Ella Rose!

2010-10-12T06:16:00.001-07:00

Matt's sister was kind enough to take photos of our Ella. I'm kind enough to share them :)

(The first one is one I took while she was sleeping... she is very happy when she sleeps)

Welcome, Ella Rose Rower!

2010-10-05T06:06:00.001-07:00

I am a horrible blogger. But, in my defense, the computer was upstairs. And it was hot. And I would become out of breath while climbing the stairs. Don't judge me.

So I un-blogged that last months of my pregnancy, which is fine because I mostly bitched about it anyway. It was rough and complicated and involved swelling and aches and pains and the like.

But we're here now. With little Ella Rose Rower. Ella, because we liked it, Rose is a family name for M, and Rower because that's the mailman's last name. Ok, not really. It's M's last name. But she did pop through the rabbit hole (haha) with a full head of jet-black, curly hair. I have reddish hair and Matt has red hair in his family. I'm just saying...

At my 36.5 week appointment, after some measuring and a few false alarms, along with the loss of a certain plug (eww), the doctor became concerned with low fluid levels, a decrease in growth/weight, and a few dips in her heart rate. They performed and ultrasound and we had "the" conversation.

Doc: I'm concerned about blah blah blah (because honestly, when you hear "concern" from the doctor, you just stop listening)

Us: What does that mean?

Doc: Well, blah blah blah, so we're gonna send you the labor suite.

Us: Is that one of the rooms here in the office ('cause we were literally dumbfounded and shocked)?

Doc: No. At the hospital. I think we should induce.

Us:

(No that's not a typo. We were friggin' shocked)

Doc: Go home. Eat something. Grab your bags and go to the hospital. We'll make an appointment on Monday to follow up, but I don't think you'll be back.

Guess where we were on Monday. Yes, the follow up appointment. The hospital disagreed with the Doc. Fluid levels good. Baby probably weighs 6.5 lbs (not the 5.5 lbs the doc's office claimed) and her heart rate was fine after an hour or so of monitoring.

So on Monday's appointment, another ultrasound, same news. We were asked to wait in the lobby after a long appointment because she said she was concerned, but had a few patients that she had to see right away (they were waiting on us). After about 45 minutes, the doc said she was sending us back to the hospital. She just needed to make a room available in the labor suite and find which doc was on call.

Again with the packing and gathering. I had low expectations. I knew we were getting sent home again. I wasn't ready. We weren't ready. Last time we were sent, I told M that we weren't ready because her dresser I ordered weeks ago hadn't arrived. I figured that was a good indication of God's plan. So this time, when we arrived home to grab our hospital gear, there was a certain dresser that had been delivered and left on the porch in our absence.

Ok. I get it. This is it.

M was much more calm than last time. I think I was too, but looking back, it could've been denial.

We arrived at the hospital, placed in our room, which was the actual birthing room; not the guest room. They started "ripening" my cervix by placing the Prostaglandin patch and "stripping the membranes." It all sounds very gross and complicated, but only took a few moments. It was almost immediately that we could see contractions registering.

Timeline: We arrived at Toledo Hospital at around 6:00 p.m. on Monday, September 27. Contractions started around 7:30 p.m. I remember being grateful because that meant we wouldn't miss prime time TV. Weird how our priorities change within 48 hours!

Once the contractions were stronger, the greatest word in the medical world was uttered and administered: Nubain. Made things so much better as the contractions got worse. I fought it for as long as I could because I knew that it was just get worse, that this wasn't as bad as it would get. But I was able to get some sleep and it alleviated the frustration that came when, by morning, I was still only dilated to 1 lonely centimeter. Ugh.

By morning, they started the Pitocin and things just increased from there. However, after severe contractions for hours, by 4 p.m. Tuesday, I was only dilated to 2 cm.

Then, the epidural. What should have been the greatest of all assistance in this adventure turned into my personal hell. The anesthesiologist was a gentleman that I worked with while in my surgical clinical hours at Toledo. So, of course, I had to at least pretend to be a badass. That did NOT work. It took nearly 20 minutes. Partially because of spinal nerve compression that, for the last few years, have caused muscle pain in my back and migraines. I could feel every millimeter of that needle and each time they tried to insert it, just as they were near the end, I would get shooting pains through my hip. Poor M saw me at my worst that day. He's still here, though, so that's a good sign.

Timeline: At this point, who the hell cares, or kept track. I remember M's aunt and my mom coming to visit, maybe around 2 p.m. We kept placing bets on when I would deliver. "Oh, I'll bet it'll be by 4."

"At least by 6, for sure." Neither of those, for the record, we correct.

I also have to say - at some point, and I'm not sure which because there are times that it's all a blur, they broke my water. It was early on because they had to re-infuse. I've not heard of this, but apparently having my water broke put stress on her, so that was their decision. Mostly, I just agreed with whatever the hell they were doing as long as I was progressing.

The numbness that came with the eipdural cause great problems with movement. To get comfortable, and to try to get her to descend, we tried every position that I could possibly muster, but wasn't having much luck. And the numbness only helped to minimize the pain of the contractions to a point. I remember M watching as I felt each wave. "It's going up, and up, it's at 90, it's going down, it's going down." Of course, I knew this, but it was comforting. I'm still not sure what the numbers meant.

Until about 10:15 p.m. Tuesday night, the contractions were steadily 3-5 minutes apart and painfully strong. I know there were a few times I would break down when, I was sure I was ready to deliver, I would be dilated at no more than 4 cm. At one point, they let me know they had shut down the Pitocin because of her heart rate. This only made me cry "Why the hell would you do that?!?" I didn't understand that it was causing her problems; only that it slowed my progress.

The nurse gave me a final dose of Nubain, which allowed me an hour or so of good sleep. The doc (not my normal OB, but one with which I was even more impressed) checked my progress and FINALLY said we were ready at 10 cm.

It didn't take long to push, and with M holding my leg to help me brace, he was the first to see the dark, curly locks of Miss Ella Rose Rower. She had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, but it was quickly removed and she was placed on my chest. Both M and I were incredible emotional. They took her to clean and monitor her, he followed, taking pictures.

So, after such a tiring and painful (but worth it!) adventure, on September 28, 2010 at 10:20 p.m., we welcomed Ella Rose Rower into our world and into our family. She weighed 5 lbs 2 oz and was, and still is, absolutely perfect!

7 months today

2010-07-22T16:28:00.000-07:00

Yes. I know. I haven't blogged. Here's the sitch-eww-ay-shon.

We have no computer connection downstairs. Only upstairs, where there is no air conditioning. So, since it's been the hottest summer on record (what a great time to get pregnant!) I have an hour or so in the AM then in the PM, if I'm still awake, to get everything done.

Also, during this time I must job search. Yep. Seven months pregnant today and I lost my job this month. Figures.

So, for your information:

1) She is still a girl

2) She is slowly bruising all of my innards with her constant kicking

3) After 5 ultrasounds, we finally got all the measurements we needed. She's fine.

4) Total weight gain at 7 months: 16 pounds

5) Summer is the worst, worst time to be pregnant

6) Most of my family aren't coming to the baby shower because they suck/have been banned/refuse to attend/etc.

I'm not sure we're any closer to a name. Not that we really talk about it. The conversation usually goes something like....

Text from me to M: Hey, what about Madeline?

Text from M to me: Nice. I'm gonna be late tonight.

Awesome. Also, Lola is out, Layla is out, and so we're for now we're stuck with Princess Peach. Now, I don't remember what the application for the birth certificate looks like, but I'm pretty sure they're aren't enough boxes in which to fit "Princess Peach" as a first name.

On a side note...

2010-06-23T06:12:00.000-07:00

I miss pooping.

I'm actually worried for the first time in my life that I'm not gaining enough weight.

Round ligament pain sucks balls.

I get excited whenever I'm able to get anything done around the house.

I need a nap. Several times per day.

My esophagus may or may not be on fire at any given moment. Usually, it is. I'm going to get cancer.

October can NOT come soon enough.

Princess Peach Rower

2010-06-21T18:13:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I haven't posted.

Life is hard. And busy. And so much fun.

We're having a girl. A girl. With all her glorious girly parts. And pink. I'm kind of excited now, I'm not gonna lie.

Today, I ordered a crap load of clothes from Carter's. Why? Because each item was less than $3.99 and that's a darn good deal. And, 99.9% is pink. Why? Because I'm having a GIRL!!!

A girl.

I wasn't sure that Matt was super excited about it, but it is a truly adorable thing now to see him talk to his daughter via my stomach with his little nickname for her and all. "Princess Peach," he says. "Behave yourself in there," he tells her when she practices ballet on my bladder.

And it's fine if she's a tomboy or a nerd. She'll just be wearing pink while doing so.

I can not wait to see Puppy hold his daughter for the first time. I wanna take so many pictures, just thinking about it overwhelms me.

God, is it October yet?

22 Weeks today! Sex tomorrow!

2010-06-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

No, not that kind of sex... we get to find out the sex of our baby tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Awesome.

Meanwhile, I'm fat, my belly has become suspect with extra hair (I may do the whole Bethanny thing and have my man wax my belly clean - ladies, you know what I'm talking about) and I feel incredibly gross. If I could think of a word that is the COMPLETE opposite of sexy, I'd go with that.

Repulsive? Maybe.

I received my very first, official baby gift from my dear friend, Miss Kylee in Mexico. Yay! for dear friends....

More tomorrow. With the big news, and all.

Halfway, here I come!!!

2010-05-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

Sleeping is becoming difficult.

Belly is always in my way.

I feel like a beached whale when I try to get up off the couch.

I tried gardening this weekend, but rested mostly with a nap in between.

Almost halfway there.

That's what a sweet potato looks like?

2010-05-13T10:14:00.001-07:00

Gross! Bet my baby's cuter than that!

I'm too sexy for my gut

2010-05-13T05:28:00.000-07:00

I'm a horrible person. I don't update my blog(s), I still sleep most of my weekends away, and all I can think about right now is initiating a phone tree because of some dream I had where we already had the baby and everyone was pissed because we didn't call anyone to let them know we had the baby, even though I didn't remember giving birth....

Yes, that was one long run-on sentence, but that's the way my mind works lately. As one, long run-on sentence.

June 11th, we will *hopefully* find out the gender of this little one, though I already say "she" and Matt says "he." We tried at our ultrasound a few weeks ago, but s/he would not cooperate. It was the 3rd ultrasound tech that stated our little peanut was a "very stubborn one." I just point at Matt.

I feel fatty-fat-fat, bloated, and not so sexy. I truly thought that I would feel sexier with, you know, not having to suck my gut in or with having eating up to 6 times per day or with having to pee every 20 minutes. Huh. Imagine that.

We're/I'm 18 weeks today (which ever you prefer) so we're almost halfway done. After 3 hours between Babies 'R' Us and Target this weekend, we're almost done with our registries (except for a few gender-specific items that will have to wait until after June 11) and I keep looking at the lists thinking "how does something so small need so much crap?"

One of life's great mysteries!

Ewww, gross. Avocados.

2010-04-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

Oh, the perils of being pregnant. My big victory for this month? Finally finding maternity underwear. Who thought it would be so difficult.

I will post more later.

Week 14... Thank God it's the 2nd trimester

2010-04-15T05:57:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I can start to feel normal again?!?

We decided in favor of the preliminary Down Syndrome testing, though we expressed that we are very against the amniocentesis. So they took a little blood, a few pictures and we called it a day.

Until I got a call just after we returned from vacation (Loved TN - see Facebook for my pics!). The nurse said that the doctor was concerned about our tests, could I come in today?

Today!?!

"Is it serious," I asked her. "It may just put your pregnancy into high risk," she said.

So for that hour before our appointment, I was freaking out. Long story short, we have a 1 in 44 chance of having a baby with Downs. Translation? We have a 98% chance of having a normal baby.

This was the big emergency? Aren't doctors supposed to keep mothers calm.

So, another ultrasound to verify that the baby is OK, and many more months to go.

**sigh**

Week 11! Only a few weeks to go until 2nd Trimester!

2010-03-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

I have how many days left?

2010-03-23T08:35:00.000-07:00

Ew. That is too loooong.

We were able to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time yesterday. Now, not the first time ever, but for the first time since I had the horrific dream that I lost the baby. Which, of course, had me worried for the 3 weeks since I had the dream, so imagine my disappointment when we couldn't hear it at first. She completed my exam, then tried again (apparently, my uterus is super-low). It worked. We heard it for a brief moment.

That was enough for me, though.

I'm starting to get some of my energy back with less bouts of nausea. Saturday, Puppy and I did some yard work. Just a few hours worth. It took me all that evening and most of Sunday to recover. My calves still hurt.

I read posts of my friends who have already had their babies. I'm sooooo jealous. I loathe this pregnancy. The pregnancy with G seemed easy (it was after he was born that it took its toll). Or perhaps I've just blocked it all out. Or how about my friend 'C' who had 3 at once. Imagine how spectacular that pregnancy was.

On my way to a customer visit today I saw a dog crossing the street. I started to cry because I thought he may get hit. I'm such an emotional tart right now.

Anyway, we're nearing my second trimester (thank all that is holy!) and I should have more ultra sound pics before we leave for vacation on the 2nd (Nashville, here we come!!!). Yes, another ultra sound. This one is looking for signs of birth defects, apparently, but I'll take any chance to see the little booger.

I put the zzzzzz in lazy...

2010-03-12T05:49:00.000-08:00

I don't update my blog.

Haven't updated this one lately, either.

I sleep during most of my lunch hours at work.

I go to sleep almost as soon as I get home, wake up long enough to tuck G in, then go back to sleep.

Our "romantic" life has died. My house is a God damn pigsty.

I'm tired. All the time. I yawned during a meeting with a client the other day, and was daydreaming during a meeting with my boss yesterday.

I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, I'm not cut out for a second kid.

I'm not thinking about the emotionally beautiful birth. I'm not thinking about bringing another life into this world. I'm not thinking about finally being able to share these moments with someone I love.

I'm thinking about the 6 weeks I'll have off of work, and all the naps I'll get to take.

Is that wrong?

I'm over this shit.

2010-03-03T08:53:00.000-08:00

You know what? I've had just about enough of this. I'm getting a t-shirt made that says "I'm pregnant!!! Kill me."

Yesterday was okay. I wanted to join the Land of the Living, so we went to the mall yesterday, walked so I could get some exercise, let G make a Build-A-Bear (which sings Jonas Brothers songs, thank you very much) and grab a bite to eat at Claddagh's.

After a small *small* cup of soup and a few bites of potatoes, I was done. Full. Full? Even Matt suggested that "it's probably not [his] baby" if that's all I could eat.

Then, after returning home, the return of the nausea. This morning, hello again to the dizziness, the dry mouth, the exhaustion, the vomiting, the nausea, the God damn everything but the kitchen sink.

So, let the record show that I am *this* close to breaking down into tears.

And this meal, the meal from last night that is now my lunch today if I manage to keep it down, will probably cover me for the next 4 days.

I'm just before my 8th week and I'm begging for it to be over.

What's that smell? Cabbage? Fruit punch?

2010-02-28T13:56:00.000-08:00

One thing on my checklist? Explaining to Matt that when I have a sudden craving - for anything - it's not wise to buy it in bulk.

The reason for this has become evident by the softer-than-usual, browning oranges on our table.

And, even though I'm pregnant, it's still not wise to eat candy bars at 7 a.m.

I've also begun to smell random weird smells when/where there shouldn't be those smells! What is that?!?

Today, it's as though I've been on an all night drinking binge. I'm sure I haven't (although I've been known to sleep walk) and can't get enough sleep.

At least there's a small reprieve from nausea.

Still forcing myself to eat what I can, including rice, juice, rice, a thin mint, V8 and rice.

That's been my entire weekend. And yes, I realize that all I've been doing is bitching. I'm okay with that, for now. As soon as I start to feel the glow of pregnancy, then I'll start posing for the Demi Moore-like photos. Until then, you're lucky if you'll see me shower this weekend.

(And by see me shower, I don't mean physically see me showering, because that wouldn't be lucky at all. I mean, I smell. Kinda. Maybe that's the weird smells!)

I've got big boobs, and I cannot lie

2010-02-26T05:25:00.000-08:00

So here's the downside to being pregnant and already having size 'D' breasts.

They. Get. Bigger.

I am going into my 8th week, and already my breasts are struggling to fit into my regular tops. I am wearing a maternity shirt today.

I've convinced myself this is OK, however, because I have big boobs and at least I'm not wearing maternity pants.

At least not yet.

Also, I think a little pee may have come out when I sneezed. In my defense, it was a powerful 3x sneeze.

How to make.... yourself tired.

2010-02-24T08:52:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today that I could make my own baby food and start sewing some baby clothes.

That made me tired just thinking about it.

So, I stopped. But I'm curious - how difficult would it be to make your own baby food? I really, truly love the convenience of the jars. Do they sell jars that small so I can jar/can my own?

Forget that whole sewing thing. That just sounds hard. I can't even figure out how to repair the hem on my dress pants.

Oooh, damn. That looks like it hurt.

2010-02-23T17:58:00.001-08:00

Selfishly, I just made Matt watch a video of a vaginal birth.

He should be prepared anyway.

I asked if he'd ever seen a video like that, if he knew what to expect.

He said no.

I made him keep watching.

He didn't say much after that.

Ah, the glow of pregnancy.... eventually

2010-02-23T17:24:00.000-08:00

My back hurts. My boobs feel like a bolt of lightning keeps striking them. I'm fat. I'm bloated. I'm tired. I'm sick. I'm moody.

Uh, when does the glorious pregnancy glow begin?

After our ultrasound appointment Monday, we had made for us another appointment on Friday and another one a week and a half after that.

I don't remember this many appointments with G. Of course, had I experienced this many appointments with G, I may have had a more normal pregnancy.

I asked what Friday's appointment with the nurse was for. Family history, again. Do's and dont's, again. Lecture about prenatal vitamins, again.

Why is this necessary, again?

The tell me it's required. Because the need to get as much money from us and the insurance company, and the only way they can do this, they say, is to make as many pointless appointments as they can so it looks good for the books.

Okay, they didn't say that. They probably should have, but they didn't.

My happy thought lately? Puppy's face when he realized the heart he was hearing beating at our appointment on Monday was that of his own child's.

My next happy thought? The fact that he was even there. :)

Officially, I'm official

2010-02-22T10:07:00.000-08:00

Official stage: 6 weeks, 4 days

Official due date: October 14, 2010 (though we're hoping for 10/10/10)

Official heartbeat: 122 strong beats per minute (we heard it!)

Official picture!!!

Don't touch me. I'll puke. I'm hungry.

2010-02-19T05:54:00.000-08:00

Nausea. That is the word of the day/week/just over a month.

I came home the other day just sick, sick, I tell you. I had two rice cakes, and that's pretty much all I remember. I believe I fell asleep for a while. Puppy cooked G's dinner.

He tries to help. He asked if there was anything he could do to make me feel better. Carry the baby? No? Fine then. I think a foot massage could suffice.

Then, about 5 minutes into an enjoyable foot massage, I couldn't get him to stop fast enough. I believe there was a sharp "Don't touch me!!!" thrown in there. Poor guy was really confused at that point.

The next morning, he was making G's lunch (this is not a pregnancy thing - this is an every day thing. I love it!) and decided to make me a salad for lunch using the chicken from the leftover KFC that week. I was not aware of this good deed so instead, I walked in and caught a whiff of the chicken and went on and on about "dear God what is that smell?" and "did someone's ass explode sulfur in here" and that sort of thing.

Apparently, the smell of chicken did not sit well with me that morning. And the poor guy was just trying to make a salad.

Thank God because later that day, I couldn't eat it fast enough.

Pregnant woman gives up lunch to save child...

2010-02-16T08:29:00.000-08:00

I am making it a point to eat healthy. I've started drinking more water (more in comparison to what I used to drink, which was basically none) and I get soup and salad at lunch instead of burgers and fries.

To my chagrin, I still feel like the largest woman in the world.

So today for lunch, I stop and purchase myself a semi-health Greek salad. Yum. Oh, wait. Apparently, I cannot eat soft cheeses, such as Feta, so I give the salad to a co-worker, and I'm sitting here eating plain pita chips.

Wipe the look off your face. I will go in a bit to get a salad. Trust me - lately, not eating is not an option. I feel like I'd eat an entire cow if it'd fit in my mouth.

And why do I feel like I'm falling asleep at the wheel every time I drive?

Please tell me, at 4-5 weeks, there was/is someone that felt/feels the same agony.

It begins with drama, and it will end in drama

2010-02-15T18:05:00.000-08:00

So, I guess the first day was not week 6. Allow me to explain.

Matt and I went to our first doctor's appointment, which lasted several hours. We had the whole entire life's review of medical and otherwise, urine tests, and our first ultrasound. (Transvaginal. If you have to look that up, you don't want to know.)

There was some concern on behalf of the nurse. Apparently she was alarmed at the size. She asked if perhaps we were off on the first day of my last period. Sure, it's possible. By a few days, maybe.

She, however, was not thinking a few days... she was thinking a few weeks. Now, I'm a woman who rarely keeps track of those things down to the minute, but I do have a neato little app on my iPod that keeps track of my periods for me. So there is NO way I was off by a few weeks.

So after the ultrasound, we meet with the OB/GYN again. She is concerned about the size, and wants to measure the 48-hour increase of my HCG levels.

"What is the concern if the levels aren't where you want them in 48 hours," I ask.

"We will then be concerned about an ectopic pregnancy."

I almost cried. I just found out I'm pregnant less than a week ago and already I have to deal with this?

So we visit the lab for a blood test. I return 48 hours later (I was exact on that. I wasn't messing around) to be tested again. This was at noon. I couldn't even get my test results until around 3 pm that day.

Of course, when I called exactly at 3 pm, they did not have the test results. They were in my doctor's hands, however, after repeated calls every half hour and my breaking down and yelling at the nurse to "get her ass down there and get the results!" That may seem a bit extreme, but this was serious!

I am now sitting here, a few days later, still pregnant. The HCG levels were perfect, and we will be returning for a second ultrasound next Monday. This is when we will more accurately know the approximate due date, other than "about 8-9 months from now."

By the way, since my only child is 10-years-old, I forgot how uncomfortable pregnancy is. I feel bloated, fat, gassy, bitchy, tired, and I have to pee all the time.

I'm only about 4 weeks pregnant. I still have 8 months to go!

The first day, otherwise known as Week 6

2010-02-15T17:49:00.000-08:00

No. We were not planning; we were not expecting. And, we were unaware.

Most months, my period is right on time. There have been those few months where I've been a few days late, take a test, and of course it's negative.

By the way, I hate those women who say "I just knew." I didn't know with G. I had absolutely no clue. I may have the second time around, but perhaps I was in denial.

For two weeks, I knew I'd start. I felt the cramping, the bloating, the mood swings, the achy boobs. I now know, these are signs of one of TWO things.

I'm pregnant. I'm scared. He's scared. We weren't exactly prepared. We're a week away from celebrating 2 years. Of course, not 2 years of being married, because we weren't ready for that. (Read that last sentence with as much sarcasm as you can possible muster.)

I took the first test. As soon as my urine hit the stick, I watched it move across the window. There would be no 5-minute wait necessary. I could see the results immediately.

Same with the second test last night. And the third this morning.

I haven't told anyone in my family.

We haven't told G (my 10-year-old son) yet, but he's no dummy. He knows something's up. We haven't told anyone in his family yet. This weekend will be the weekend.

Most would wait until the threat of miscarriage passes. Personally, I just want to get this over with.