Yep. More pictures...

Ewww. Gross. I'm hideous. She's pretty cute, though!



Awww! Big brother G and his lil' sis!












My Daddy with his first granddaughter!

She loves staring at her Pooh

Not that poo.... this Pooh





She loves, loves staring at this little guy. To be honest, I have no idea where he came from. We have a Tigger from my mom and an Eeyore (not sure where he came from either) but she really likes Winnie the Pooh! I discovered this one day when she seemed inconsolable so I put him in there to prop her binky so it wouldn't keep falling out (don't judge me!). Next thing I know, she's quiet as a mouse and staring at this fella. To be honest, he's not the best looking Pooh - he's kind of scary with the raised eyebrows and all - but she loves him. When she went through a 3 day phase of just crying and wanting to be held, I found Pooh cartoons on the YouTube app on my iPod. She loved it!





I have to say... at this point, I'm a little relieved. I wasn't ready for the barrage of Disney princess crap. At least not yet!

I enjoy sleeping babies

Ella survived her first cold at 3 weeks. I however, after repeated sneezes in the face from the aforementioned child, had a cold that quickly turned into bronchitis. Daddy M had his first mostly-alone-with-a-child day on Sunday. I slept-mostly-and snuck little cuddles and a feeding. C'mon! She's so cute... how could I not cheat a little?

She still sleeps a ton, and I'm always taking pictures, but she is now getting better at holding her head up and staying awake and alert for small periods of time here and there.

Just a quick note: She will be 1 month old this Thursday - how is that even possible?

Am I still pregnant?

I'm done. I'm not pregnant anymore. It's been 2 weeks yesterday.

Why, oh why then, am I feeling pregnant?

Yes, I get that I'll still be plump and and squishy. But I'm still constipated, still swollen, and still have numbness in my fingers.

I'm not sure why I'm sharing that information. Mostly because of all my postpartum symptoms, the numbness annoys me most of all. I'm dropping things constantly.

The great news is that I'm not experiencing the depression I did with G. Exhaustion is still there, but I guess that's part of the fun of being a new parent.

I made the mistake of asking Matt, considering everything that happened with the pregnancy and delivery, if he'd do it again. He would. I won't. I don't think. I suppose if I could continue to stay home and he could make more money, I would make more babies. I still haven't found a job since being fired in July and unemployment doesn't exactly pay the bills like sales did, but we're getting by and I'm whoring my resume like a madwoman.

If we had the money, however, I would be a stay at home mom in a heartbeat! I never thought I would have the patience, but before Ella was born, it gave me time to get everything for her ready. Now, I have time to clean and organize. Not necessarily cook because I don't enjoy it in our tiny kitchen, but I've been known to fix a plate here and there.

It's gonna suck going back to work after so much time off and leaving her. I am anxious to make money, especially with Christmas fast approaching, but I will try to enjoy the time while I can. And seriously, the kids just make it so easy!

First pictures of Ella Rose!

Matt's sister was kind enough to take photos of our Ella. I'm kind enough to share them :)

(The first one is one I took while she was sleeping... she is very happy when she sleeps)

Welcome, Ella Rose Rower!

I am a horrible blogger. But, in my defense, the computer was upstairs. And it was hot. And I would become out of breath while climbing the stairs. Don't judge me.

So I un-blogged that last months of my pregnancy, which is fine because I mostly bitched about it anyway. It was rough and complicated and involved swelling and aches and pains and the like.

But we're here now. With little Ella Rose Rower. Ella, because we liked it, Rose is a family name for M, and Rower because that's the mailman's last name. Ok, not really. It's M's last name. But she did pop through the rabbit hole (haha) with a full head of jet-black, curly hair. I have reddish hair and Matt has red hair in his family. I'm just saying...

At my 36.5 week appointment, after some measuring and a few false alarms, along with the loss of a certain plug (eww), the doctor became concerned with low fluid levels, a decrease in growth/weight, and a few dips in her heart rate. They performed and ultrasound and we had "the" conversation.

Doc: I'm concerned about blah blah blah (because honestly, when you hear "concern" from the doctor, you just stop listening)

Us: What does that mean?

Doc: Well, blah blah blah, so we're gonna send you the labor suite.

Us: Is that one of the rooms here in the office ('cause we were literally dumbfounded and shocked)?

Doc: No. At the hospital. I think we should induce.

Us:

(No that's not a typo. We were friggin' shocked)

Doc: Go home. Eat something. Grab your bags and go to the hospital. We'll make an appointment on Monday to follow up, but I don't think you'll be back.

Guess where we were on Monday. Yes, the follow up appointment. The hospital disagreed with the Doc. Fluid levels good. Baby probably weighs 6.5 lbs (not the 5.5 lbs the doc's office claimed) and her heart rate was fine after an hour or so of monitoring.

So on Monday's appointment, another ultrasound, same news. We were asked to wait in the lobby after a long appointment because she said she was concerned, but had a few patients that she had to see right away (they were waiting on us). After about 45 minutes, the doc said she was sending us back to the hospital. She just needed to make a room available in the labor suite and find which doc was on call.

Again with the packing and gathering. I had low expectations. I knew we were getting sent home again. I wasn't ready. We weren't ready. Last time we were sent, I told M that we weren't ready because her dresser I ordered weeks ago hadn't arrived. I figured that was a good indication of God's plan. So this time, when we arrived home to grab our hospital gear, there was a certain dresser that had been delivered and left on the porch in our absence.

Ok. I get it. This is it.

M was much more calm than last time. I think I was too, but looking back, it could've been denial.

We arrived at the hospital, placed in our room, which was the actual birthing room; not the guest room. They started "ripening" my cervix by placing the Prostaglandin patch and "stripping the membranes." It all sounds very gross and complicated, but only took a few moments. It was almost immediately that we could see contractions registering.

Timeline: We arrived at Toledo Hospital at around 6:00 p.m. on Monday, September 27. Contractions started around 7:30 p.m. I remember being grateful because that meant we wouldn't miss prime time TV. Weird how our priorities change within 48 hours!

Once the contractions were stronger, the greatest word in the medical world was uttered and administered: Nubain. Made things so much better as the contractions got worse. I fought it for as long as I could because I knew that it was just get worse, that this wasn't as bad as it would get. But I was able to get some sleep and it alleviated the frustration that came when, by morning, I was still only dilated to 1 lonely centimeter. Ugh.

By morning, they started the Pitocin and things just increased from there. However, after severe contractions for hours, by 4 p.m. Tuesday, I was only dilated to 2 cm.

Then, the epidural. What should have been the greatest of all assistance in this adventure turned into my personal hell. The anesthesiologist was a gentleman that I worked with while in my surgical clinical hours at Toledo. So, of course, I had to at least pretend to be a badass. That did NOT work. It took nearly 20 minutes. Partially because of spinal nerve compression that, for the last few years, have caused muscle pain in my back and migraines. I could feel every millimeter of that needle and each time they tried to insert it, just as they were near the end, I would get shooting pains through my hip. Poor M saw me at my worst that day. He's still here, though, so that's a good sign.

Timeline: At this point, who the hell cares, or kept track. I remember M's aunt and my mom coming to visit, maybe around 2 p.m. We kept placing bets on when I would deliver. "Oh, I'll bet it'll be by 4."

"At least by 6, for sure." Neither of those, for the record, we correct.

I also have to say - at some point, and I'm not sure which because there are times that it's all a blur, they broke my water. It was early on because they had to re-infuse. I've not heard of this, but apparently having my water broke put stress on her, so that was their decision. Mostly, I just agreed with whatever the hell they were doing as long as I was progressing.

The numbness that came with the eipdural cause great problems with movement. To get comfortable, and to try to get her to descend, we tried every position that I could possibly muster, but wasn't having much luck. And the numbness only helped to minimize the pain of the contractions to a point. I remember M watching as I felt each wave. "It's going up, and up, it's at 90, it's going down, it's going down." Of course, I knew this, but it was comforting. I'm still not sure what the numbers meant.

Until about 10:15 p.m. Tuesday night, the contractions were steadily 3-5 minutes apart and painfully strong. I know there were a few times I would break down when, I was sure I was ready to deliver, I would be dilated at no more than 4 cm. At one point, they let me know they had shut down the Pitocin because of her heart rate. This only made me cry "Why the hell would you do that?!?" I didn't understand that it was causing her problems; only that it slowed my progress.

The nurse gave me a final dose of Nubain, which allowed me an hour or so of good sleep. The doc (not my normal OB, but one with which I was even more impressed) checked my progress and FINALLY said we were ready at 10 cm.

It didn't take long to push, and with M holding my leg to help me brace, he was the first to see the dark, curly locks of Miss Ella Rose Rower. She had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, but it was quickly removed and she was placed on my chest. Both M and I were incredible emotional. They took her to clean and monitor her, he followed, taking pictures.

So, after such a tiring and painful (but worth it!) adventure, on September 28, 2010 at 10:20 p.m., we welcomed Ella Rose Rower into our world and into our family. She weighed 5 lbs 2 oz and was, and still is, absolutely perfect!